Everytime I Trust a Girl
Image Courtesy
of The Writers Ranch
I'm feeling good for the first time in days, Teaspoon thought. For once Barnett was keeping the peace instead of disturbing it, my boys are safe and enjoying a run free day, there ain't no women troubles bothering me, and it was an unusually warm autumn day. Yep, the perfect kind of day that's meant for sneaking off and taking a dip in my favorite watering hole.
As I approach I thought he heard some of his boys talking, but when I get to the water, Lou is the only one in the water.
"Hey Lou, how's the water?" I call out.
Lou suddenly turns and I notice the look of panic in his eyes. "Teaspoon?" He squeaks. "Teaspoon, don't come in here!"
"Come on Lou, ya can't hog the swimmin' hole on a hot day like this. It ain't democratic."
I start to remove my boots and notice that Lou is looking around either for his clothes or the others. I've noticed some of my boys are prone to play tricks and Lou is probably worried he'd be the latest victim. More than once I've had had to talk to the boys about making sure no one is forced to walk back to the station in their birthday suits.
Lou knew that if Teaspoon were to come in the water her life as a Pony Express rider would be over. But as Teaspoon continued to remove his boots, Lou knew there was no hope; but it didn't stop her from trying a few more things.
"I mean it Teaspoon. You really don't want to come in here!"
"Why? I don't see no alley-gators," I laugh. I can't figure out why he was acting so paranoid.
"That's 'cause it's freezin'," he said suddenly shivering. "Brrrrrr!"
This is gonna be fun! He really doesn't want me in there. Why? It's not like I haven't seen it all before. Even if he is the smallest and most undeveloped of all my boys, he's no different than the rest of us.
"Good. That's just the way I like it!" I rub my hands together, in anticipation of having fun with Lou now, than in enjoying the water.
I can see Lou looking for a way out but he's surrounded. Either way he's not getting away.
"... when it's not hot. Like it is now. In fact, I'm burning up!"
"The hotter the better!" I throw my hat on the ground and run back up on the bank. "Okay, Lou.... here I come." I get a good run and cannon ball right into the water not to far from Lou, who's now screaming.
"Come on, Lou. Fight back." "Stop, Teaspoon, I don't want to. Now stay away!""Okay, Lou. This is war." I continue splashing him and then I realize I've really frightened him. I stop splashing and give him a serious look. "Alright Lou..."
"Lou?" Kid hollers out. "What's the?"
I realize Lou's yelling has alerted the others and they've come running to the bank. Lou just stares at the others in a silent plea. I keep splashing him hoping to get him to lighten up and have some fun. He's always so serious; he really needs to have some fun. Maybe one of these days I'll take him over to the saloon and...
"I guess what you need is a good old fashioned alley-oop!
"Before he can protest I'm already underwater swimming my way closer. I feel bad as I realize he's been treading water this whole time so it's making it hard for me to see. Poor Lou, even when he's standing on the bottom there's a good six or seven inches until the surface. As the water starts to clear, I grab his legs and as I look up preparing to throw him out of the water, I stop dead in my tracks...
At first I think that's why Lou had been acting so weird, he had "company". But I look again. What are those? I think. I look down to near where my hands are, Where's his... Are those... What the...?
I instantly let of go of his... her... legs as the breath I've been holding is sucked from my lungs. I stumble my feet on the ground before finally being able to push back and up. Away from him... or her... away from Lou.
I shoot out of the water and take a huge gasp of air as I try to process what has happened. As soon as I can speak again, I do. "Lou?!?!?!" I question.
I hear the boys on the bank and as I turn towards them I see all but a frightened Kid take off like bats out of hell.
"Hold it!" I yell at them and they all stop. They slowly turn around with their heads hung down in shame. "You all knew?" I asked shocked. I love my boy, but keeping secrets is one thing they're NOT good at.
I hear them mumble their acknowledgements and shake my head. I look back at Lou and see her lower lip trembling. I need to get control of the situation and fast. "Alright, everyone in the sweat lodge in ten minutes."
The boys all protest complaining it's hot enough without having to spend the next few hours sitting in the sweat lodge. "I don't want to hear anymore. Whoever ain't there has double duty for the next month. Now get!"
I watch as my boys walk away, all except Kid."Kid, I meant you too. What are you still..."
I notice he's looking towards Lou and as I glance at her again, she still has the scared expression on her face. It hits me that Lou can't leave until after I do and I blush. "Well I uh... Sorry about this, really I am." Lou nods. "I'll see you in the sweat lodge and we'll get this figured out."
I swim to the shore and quickly dress. I place my arm around Kid and lead him away to give Lou the privacy she deserves. "Come on Kid, we've all had enough excitement, let her be."
~~~
Twenty minutes later I enter the sweat lodge and look around at all my boys... and girl, bursting with pride. I've stood outside for the past ten minutes, and as soon as Kid and Lou entered, the boys started to come up with ways to save her job. Finally I heard Lou tell them, "No! I'm sick of all the lies. We all knew this would happen eventually."
"Lou, its ok, you don't need to worry. I'll..." Kid started to say something, but knowing that tone in his voice, I decide to make my entrance for he does something that gets him shot; and most likely by Lou. Immediately the boys approach me stating reasons why I should let Lou stay.
I can tell how much my boys care for her, and by the looks on their faces, I can tell they are almost as worried as she is about what's going to happen. How can I even figure that out when I'm still trying to figure out he's a she!
"Everybody sit!" I order. Immediately the boys scatter. Jimmy and Cody on either side of me, Buck and Ike on either side of them, and then huddled directly across from me is Lou, with Kid sitting close enough that their legs are touching. "First things first, how did you did you ever get this job?" I see the look of anger that I've come to know so well. "I mean..."
"Been around horses all my life..." she started nervously.
I watch as she looks towards Kid and I begin to realize the two of them have been dancing around their feelings towards each other, and I'm probably the reason why.
"I ain't too good at doin' anything else." I watched as she looks towards the ground. I realize she's been dressing as a boy for a long time, and has probably forgotten not only how to act like a girl, but what it feels like. I shake my head.
"I just don't understand," I say. Jimmy is using that damn peacock feather to fan himself and me and it's annoying. "I just don't understand. When did this happen?"
"When did what happen, Teaspoon?" Jimmy asks me. I shoot him a look letting him now I'm serious, that this is serious.
"Whatta ya mean, what?" I point at Lou who's huddled beside Kid with her arms crossed over her chest. Now I know why she was always doing that. And I realize that maybe she shouldn't be allowed in here anymore. The fabric on her long johns are thin and I know if she moves her arms... I've got to stop thinking like that and get to the bottom of this. "Him... I mean, her..."
"Been like this since birth!" Lou tells me in a serious tone. The others laugh, trying to lighten the mood.
"That ain't what I'm talkin' about..." I need some water to relax me and help me get through this. Maybe it'll wake me up from this nightmare I keep thinking I'm stuck in.
"Cody," I say and he instantly dumps the bucket of water over my head. It doesn't work. I'm still here. "What I'm talkin' about is... why?"
"Why what?" Jimmy questions again.
I begin to wonder how the other figured it out. They act like it's no big deal, so they must have known for a while. Weren't they as surprised and shocked as I was... still am? But looking at her now, I don't see how I missed it.
"Why in God's name I never noticed?"
I see the looks on my boys' faces and realize they thought the same thing at first. Cody has to break the silence with one of his smart remarks.
"I ain't gonna touch that," he says. I look at him in disbelief, but smile because it helps ease some of the tension.
"I don't know, Teaspoon, maybe..." Lou starts trying to find the right words. "Maybe ya chose not to... because... 'cause if ya did... you'd have to fire me." She nods at me hoping she's right.
I stare at her dumbfounded but with a serious look on my face. "Why'd I do a fool thing like that?"
"Because I'm a girl remember?"
Like I needed reminding. "Yes, you certainly are. But that don't mean you don't sit a saddle as good, ride as hard, or shoot as straight..."
"I know, but..." She's still trying to convince me to let her stay. "But the company's got rules and you work for the company."
Ahhh, so that's the problem. She doesn't want to think I'd fire her, but would have to because of the company. "Well I know that but company's company and family's family. I always thought of you boys and uh..." I clear my throat realizing I can't call her a boy anymore. "And girls... as family. And a family sticks together."
I see her smile as she's realizes there's still hope for her. She looks over at Kid and smiles. "You mean I can stay?" She still has doubt in her voice, but she seems happier.
"Well, I don't see why not." She smiles and Kid puts his arm around her shoulder. "Unless you got any other secrets you're keepin' from me." Kid pulls her closer to him, hugs her and kisses the top of her head. They're both happy and I realize that those two really do care for each other. Which is a big relief and they both smile at me.
"Matter of fact," I lean in to whisper to Jimmy. "I'm kinda relieved. I was beginnin' to worry about them two."
Everyone laughs and is relieved. I can't believe my boys would think I'd just toss Lou out on the streets. Even if she is a girl, she's one of the best riders the express has and they all know it.
"Which brings me to some rules that we need to establish... Now I'm not tellin' you that you have to, I'm just askin', but would you prefer livin' up at the main house with Rachel? Maybe give you a chance to act more like a..." I stop at the look she shoots me. I should've known she would react like the typical female. "I take that as a no."
As we finish up our little meeting, I watch as them all go back to their regular chores and other stuff, I want to call her back and find out more. How long has she lived like this? Why is she doing this? How can I make sure she's safe without her thinking I don't think she can do the job?
Later that afternoon after warning Rachel, Lou and I finally get a chance to talk alone. I keep looking at her, trying to see her dressed up like a girl would. Try to see her as Louise instead of Lou.
"Louise?" I ask. I smile as she puts her hands on her hips and tries to act and look tough. "Well it's just gonna take a little gettin' use to."
"Teaspoon, I don't want you to treat me any different now that you know. I'm still the same Lou I've been."
"I know you are, and I'll try not to treat you any different, there's just some things I've been concerned about."
"Like what?" She asks with a venomous tone.
"Well, I ain't about to bring up you movin' in with Rachel again, the boys here have no problem sharin' the bunkhouse with ya, but at other places things are different..."
"But Teaspoon, my job..."
"Now I ain't threatenin' your job, just sayin' I don't want you in a position where somethin' might happen." I know what I'm trying to say is coming out wrong, but I can't help but worrying about her.
"I can take care of myself! Been doin' so almost five years now."
The last part is barely louder than a whisper. Again I start to wonder why she would even chose to live her life this way. "Is that when you became Lou?" She looks away from me and slowly nods. "Anything you wanna talk about?"
"Nope, just tryin' to save enough to get a place for me and my brother and sister. It's gonna take longer now if I have to get a room when I can't camp out on my runs."
I nod. "Don't worry 'bout, it's my idea, I'm payin'." I watch her open her mouth to start to protest and I stop her. "I ain't talkin' charity, just call it a bonus." I grin.
Lou starts to shake her head in protest, but the others arrive to tell us about the sheriff in town. I'm hoping this will all work out in the end for all of us. My luck with women ain't been that great. It seems every time I trust a gal, it only leads to nothing but trouble!