Woman Without A Home
Image Courtesy
of The Writers Ranch
I'm feeding a carrot to Samson and look over to see Kid help Lou lift his saddle on to the fence post. There's something different about Lou and I can't figure it out. Then again he doesn't spend much time with any of us, and even at night he goes outside to prepare for bed when the rest of us are getting ready.
I see Lou watch as Kid walked away. Eventually Lou walks by me and it suddenly hits me what's different about Lou. I keep thinking that I must be wrong, that my mind is playing tricks on me. But then I think how he always crosses his arms over his chest when he thinks people are watching... how his shirts are always buttoned so high... why he never changes or goes to the swimming hole with the rest of us. I realize it's true... Lou's a girl!
I keep thinking about Lou and why she's doing this. Doesn't she have a place to belong? A place to call home or is she an orphan like the rest of us without a family out there? Can't she find a less dangerous job? One where she could be a girl? Later that afternoon Buck comes up to me and I've driven myself crazy with all these questions. I wonder if I'm the last one the figure it out, and I hope Buck knows so I can talk to him about it.
** Do you notice anything about Lou? ** I ask him.
"Like what? That he's smaller than the rest of us? Give him time he's still young," Buck laughs. "You didn't fill out until a year ago."
I know Buck is teasing, and I lightly punch him in the arm. But I just can't stop thinking about Lou and why she's disguised as a boy. It feels weird not to be able to talk to Buck about it, but if he doesn't know, I'm not going to tell him. Not now anyways.
~~~
A few days later, Buck came running in to the bunkhouse early in the morning. There's a signal coming from the nearest mounting station so we all go riding. Almost as soon as we ride in, Kid comes out to meet us and tells us what happens. We're about to leave when Lou comes out to join us, determined to go.
"Lou, you should be restin'," Kid tells her.
"I'm goin'," she angrily replies.
"You can't Lou, you're hurt."
I notice by the tone of Kid's voice that he's worried. The way the two keep looking at each other, I realize Kid now knows. I can tell this is going to be an interesting day.
"Lou's got a right," Jimmy says. "Thinks he's fit, why can't he?"
"Because..." I know Kid just wants to blurt it out, but something is holding him back. He could've told all of us right then, but he didn't.
"Because what?" Cody asks.
"Because he'll slow us down," Kid won't look at us, he keeps glaring at her. He's trying to get her to stay, and I don't blame him.
"You said yourself, I'm not hurt that bad. I'm going!" Each word Lou said got louder as she spoke.
"Guess Lou's goin'," Jimmy agrees wondering what the big deal is. Kid has asked me to go back to the station to get the Volley guns. Emma meets me as I ride in and without thinking I start signing what was happening. By the blank look on her face, I can tell I'm going too fast and she hasn't picked up enough sign to understand.
I walk away shaking my head. I keep forgetting how hard it is for me to talk to the others when Buck isn't around to translate. Everyone else has tried to learn, but only Lou has picked enough up to get the general idea of the conversation. It's something else we share. I even messed up one day and made the sign for "her"; but she either missed it or ignored it.
On my way to get the guns, I scribble a quick note to Emma. "Came for the Volley guns. Rider hurt, going after those responsible. Try not to worry, we're okay."
~~~
A few days later I'm returning from a run and see Kid and Lou talking by one of the corrals. As I walk towards the barn, I blush and turn away as I see Lou kiss him on his cheek. I chuckle at the thought of the two of them. They're so completely different, but it's almost as if they're made for each other.
The next day, I can't help but tease Kid as he prepares for a ride.
** Hey Kid **
"Hi, Ike. Think Katy will be okay on this run? I know it's a short one but I'm still worried about her."
** Well now that you mention it... **
"Slow down, Ike. I only caught part of that."
"He said," Buck translated coming up behind me. "That now that you mention it, Katy seems a bit moody lately. You're not seein' anyone else are ya, Kid?"
Buck and I laugh as Kid turns a bright shade of red. He shakes his head and walks away. He's use to all of us teasing him about how close he is with his horse, but after that blush, I know he has feelings for Lou.
~~~
I met up with the others as they're coming back from rescuing Lou's brother and sister. We've made camp for the night and the tension between Kid, Lou and Jimmy is so thick you can cut it with a knife. As I watch Kid and Lou walk towards the creek, I realize something big has happened between the time they rode off after Boggs and when I caught up with them.
They return after a few minutes and after Lou talked to Jimmy, Lou comes to the campfire and sits down. "I have an announcement to make."
"What's up, Lou?" Cody asked curiously.
"First off, I want you guys to know, what ever you decide, I'll abide by it. If you want me to leave, I will. I don't want to put you in any more of an awkward situation. And second of all, my name isn't Lou, it's..."
** What are you talking about? What do you mean your name ain't Lou? ** I ask quickly. I realize she's about to tell everyone, but I don't want anyone to know I've already figured it out. I watch her take a deep breath, look to Kid and Jimmy for support and then get frustrated as she tries to tell us.
"My name isn't Lou... It's Louise. Louise McCloud."
Silence enveloped the camp, even the crackling fire seemed to be in a stunned silence. Lou turned and ran back towards the creek. Jimmy started to follow her but Kid pulled him back.
Buck was the first to recover. "You both knew?" Jimmy and Kid nodded. "Since when?"
"I found out this afternoon, shortly before Boggs was killed," Jimmy answered. "Kid found out... When did you find out exactly, Kid?"
"More importantly," Cody asked. "How?"
I can't believe Cody would ask that and I slap him upside the back of his head. When he turns around and looks at me I try to act innocent, but when I hear Buck chuckle I start laughing too.
"Oh come on! Aren't you curious as to how Kid found out Lou was a girl? And why he didn't tell us? I mean she's worked with us, eaten with us, slept with us, and more importantly, watched us dress and undress!"
** What does it matter, Cody?" ** I ask. She's the same Lou I've known from the beginning. ** You've offered to show half the girls in town what Lou has already seen. **
"He's right you know," Buck added.
I realize how much of a shock it has been for the others. But if they would just stop and think for once... ** No, she always stepped out when we changed. And most of the time we've been together, we've all slept in at least our long john bottoms. **
"What should we do?" Buck asked.
** Are we really going to ask her to leave like she thinks we are? ** She's proven herself to all of us more than once and she has as much of a right to be here as I do.
Jimmy shook his head. "What we need to do is go over there and tell her that we're alright with it. That it doesn't matter that she's a girl, she's no different from the rest of us."
"But she is different from the rest of us, Jimmy," Cody responded. "But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. It could be nice to have a girl around. Wouldn't ever have to look far for a date to the dance."
We all start laughing again and start to come up with a way to let Lou know they were all right with things as they were. As we walk towards where Kid and Lou are, Cody gestures to us a patch of wildflowers.
"Girls like flowers right?" I'm shocked for once Cody could be so sensitive. It's a great idea, and I'm sure Lou will love it.
"Lou, you alright?" Jimmy asks as we approach the couple.
Lou nodded.
"Well Buck, Ike, and Cody here have somethin' they wanna tell ya." Jimmy tells her.
Cody stepped forward first, holding the flower behind his back and stuck out his empty hand. "Name's William F. Cody, most folks just call me Cody, and it's a pleasure to meet you... Louise," he grinned bringing the wildflower from behind his back.
"Same goes for us," Buck said and we hand her our flowers as well. I blush as I see her smile and wipe the tears from her eyes.
We head back towards the camp, and Buck and I are the last ones up.
"You knew, didn't you?" I nod. "How?"
** I figured it out. **
Buck shook his head and chuckled. "I should've known with the way you always can tell things about animals. Nite," he says before lying back.
I'm the first one up in the morning. I go down by the creek to wash up and as I'm getting out of the water I see Lou heading towards me and immediately dive back in. When I surface, she looks away.
"I'm so sorry, Ike! I didn't realize you were down here. I'll uhm... I'll just go." She turns red as she starts to walks back towards the camp. She suddenly stops and looks at me. "You knew, didn't you?" I just nod and she smiles. "Thanks for not tellin' the others, I appreciate that. And... just thanks."
I watch her as she walks away. Over the past few months, I've gotten answers to some of my original questions and I know she's still scared of what will happen now that we know. She may be a woman without a home, but as far as I'm concerned, she can be a woman or a man with a home with us for as long as she wants.