Funny Forgotten Feelings
Image Courtesy
of The Writers Ranch
"That's impossible. I had two daughters and one son," the man holding Jimmy hostage said.
Lou thought of her next words carefully. There was no way out of it, Jimmy was about to learn her secret.
"You still do."
"Louise," her father, a man who she hadn't seen in over ten years hoarsely whispered.
As soon as she saw the look on Jimmy's face she knew she was in trouble. Surprise, confusion, anger, and something else flashed through his eyes as he looked her over. Asking Kid to keep her secret was one thing, but she couldn't ask that of Jimmy. It was time to tell the others.
The rest of the events flew by in a haze. She barely recalled Kid pulling the trigger to the man who held her family captive once again. Could barely recall kneeling by his side as he took his last breath saying he had come for her as well, and then Kid's gentle arms helping her out the door.
It wasn't until they made camp after dropping her brother and sister off at the orphanage that things began to sink in. Jimmy and Kid sat quietly while the others continued to talk about the events that had happened. Lou needed a break and got up to walk towards a nearby small stream. She wasn't surprised when Kid followed her.
"You ok, Lou?" He asked cautiously.
She shook her head. "I have to tell the others."
Kid placed his hand on her shoulder and shook his head, "No you don't. Jimmy'll keep your secret, just like I have."
"No, it wasn't right of me to ask that of you in the first place. I can't ask Jimmy to do the same. If Teaspoon were to find out, all three of us would be out of work."
Back at the camp, Jimmy noticed Lou and Kid walk off together. From the moment he heard the words come out of Lou's mouth, he noticed Kid wasn't surprised, he should've known he knew Lou's secret. Things like that were starting to make sense to him now when it came to those two. Both had been secretive around the others, but seemed drawn to each other.
"I'm headin' to the creek to wash up before turnin' in," Buck said walking towards Jimmy.
"No!" Jimmy said a little too sharply. He wasn't sure what Kid and Lou were doing, but they probably wanted to do it in private. Especially if she was bathing while Kid stood guard.
"Why not?" Cody asked coming up behind Buck. "It's been a long day and we just want to clean up and turn in."
"Kid and Lou are down there talkin'. He's probably apologizin' for killin' Boggs. Give them some time alone to work it out."
The other riders nodded and went back to the campfire. Jimmy was relieved when Kid and Lou returned a few minutes later. Lou walked over to Jimmy.
"Jimmy, can I talk to you for a moment?" She asked gesturing she wanted to speak to him away from the others.
"Alright, Lou." The walked towards the creek and stopped when they were out of earshot from the others.
"Jimmy..." she started as started to speak Jimmy as well.
"Go ahead, Lou. Ladies first," he said grinning.
Lou chuckled. "I want you to know that I'm gonna tell the others, but I wanted to talk to you first. I'm sorry..."
"Lou, you don't have to tell them, I'll keep your secret."
"I can't ask that of you Jimmy. It's time the others know. Kid has known almost since the beginning and it's been hard for him. Once all of you know, I'll do what ever you decide."
"What do you mean?"
"If you all want me to leave, I will. It's going to be pretty awkward now that you guys know, and I don't want that. I don't want to go, but if that's what you all decide, then I'll part ways at daybreak."
Before Jimmy could start to protest, Lou walked away and back towards the group. He slowly followed her, wondering how the others would react.
Kid stood up as she approached with pleading in his eyes. "Are you sure about this, Lou?"
Lou nodded and sat down. "I have an announcement to make."
"What's up, Lou?" Cody asked curiously. She was surprised that out of all of them, Cody never figured out her secret.
"First off, I want you guys to know, what ever you decide, I'll abide by it. If you want me to leave, I will. I don't want to put you in any more of an awkward situation. And second of all, my name isn't Lou, it's..."
** What are you talking about? What do you mean your name ain't Lou? ** Ike signed quickly.
Lou took a deep breath. The moment she'd been dreading these past few months had finally arrived. She looked towards both Kid and Jimmy who nodded for her to go ahead. Both smiled and she knew that she had their support.
"My name isn't Lou... It's..." She buried her face in her hands and growled. This was so much harder than she imagined. Knowing the best way to get it over with was just to come right out, she crossed her arms over her chest and looked straight at her remaining friends.
"It's Louise. Louise McCloud."
Silence enveloped the camp, even the crackling fire seemed to be in a stunned silence. Lou turned and ran back towards the creek. Jimmy started to follow her but Kid pulled him back.
"Let her go, Jimmy."
Buck was the first to recover. "You both knew?" Jimmy and Kid nodded. "Since when?"
"I found out this afternoon, shortly before Boggs was killed," Jimmy answered. "Kid found out... When did you find out exactly, Kid?"
"More importantly," Cody asked. "How?"
Kid shook his head and went after Lou. He sighed as he heard her sobs, and sat down beside her pulling her into his arms.
"You okay, Lou?"
"It's funny. All this time I tried so hard not to act like a girl because I didn't want anyone else to know, and now that they do, here I am cryin' like one."
Kid chuckled. "I think you're entitled to it. After all, you are a girl. And now that they know, you can start actin' like a girl some. Maybe I'll even get to see you in that dress again," Kid said smiling at her.
"If they let me stay." Lou really didn't want to leave. Just hours before she told her brother and sister she had a good job and would soon be able to provide them the home they deserved. "What happened after I left?"
"They have a bunch of questions, but they seemed to accept it. Lou, I..." Kid was about to lean in to kiss her when he heard footsteps behind them.
"Lou, you alright?"
Lou turned to see Jimmy and the others walking towards them. She sighed at the interruption, sure that Kid had been about to kiss her. Wiping her tears away, she could just nod.
"Well Buck, Ike, and Cody here have somethin' they wanna tell ya."
Lou watched as Cody stepped forward first, holding something behind his back. "Name's William F. Cody, most folks just call me Cody, and it's a pleasure to meet you... Louise," he grinned bringing a single wildflower from behind his back.
"Same here goes for us," Buck said pointing to Ike as well before both handed her flowers as well.
Lou felt Kid squeeze her shoulders and she chuckled. It was their simple way of letting her know that they had accepted her for what and who she was. It had been so long since she had remembered how good it felt to be a girl, but she knew things were going to be better from here on out.