Blinded by Fear
~~ Part 2 ~~
"Teaspoon, this ain't fair," Lou complained, as she sat in her full long johns with her arms crossed over her chest. "You said I ain't allowed in here no more since I was a girl."
"I know it, and I'm sorry. But the three of you been actin' and carryin' on and such these past few weeks, and it's gotta stop before someone gets seriously hurt," he said as he looked in Lou's direction. "Or has it already?"
Lou looked away from Teaspoon. The heat was making her neck itch even more and she had to sit on her hands to keep from scratching the raw area.
"The fact is you three have been so blinded by your own emotions, you ain't seein' what its doin' to the others." The three riders remained silent knowing he was right. "So who wants to start?"
"I wanna know how Lou got those rope burns," Kid said at the same time Lou said, "What's this about a duel?"
"Well, looks like we'll start with you two. Now Kid, I know you were upset because Lou said no to your proposal..." Both riders looked at Teaspoon questioningly. "Yeah, I know about that. We all do. Now son, you were hurtin' somethin' fierce, 'specially when you thought somethin' was goin' on with Lou and Jimmy, and that you wanted to make her as jealous as you were."
"But Teaspoon, nothing..." Jimmy started.
Teaspoon looked at Jimmy. "Now son, I'll get to you in a minute. Kid, you were on what they call a rebound. You fell hard and fast for the first pretty thing you saw. I know what that's like. That's how I found myself married a third time. Now the fact that she came from the South didn't help matters much either."
Kid nodded. "Guess so."
"Well the way you were carryin' on about her was upsettin' Lou. Made her think you never cared about her, which we all know ain't true. Now Lou, you should know by now how boys talk, 'specially these boys. You been around 'em long enough not to be believin' everything they're sayin', even when it comes to matters of the heart. Am I right?"
"It was different this time Teaspoon," Lou said tears forming in her eyes. "I was doin' my chores when I heard Cody and Noah talkin' 'bout Kid actin' weird in town earlier that day. Then when I go to get my coat, I hear Kid sayin' those things and I put it together. He had moved on; I had to accept it. That didn't mean I had to like it."
"It was your choice to end things. What was I supposed to do?"
"You didn't have to throw it in her face." Jimmy yelled. "You coulda had the decency to at least let her hear about it from you instead of hearing Cody go off like he normally does."
"He's right Kid," Lou agreed. "And why aren't you out with Samantha now? If she means so much to you, why aren't you out there courtin' her now?"
"I was worried when you guys didn't come back on time," Kid said, hoping they didn't realize that was only partially true.
"Kid?" Teaspoon said. "That ain't the only reason, now is it?"
Kid shook his head and mumbled, "She left already. She was in love with someone else, he died, end of story."
Teaspoon gave Kid a stern look. "You know that ain't the end of the story. You wanna tell them, or do you want me too?"
When Kid remained silent, Teaspoon continued. "You called someone out for the love of a woman. Lou has a right to know you were willin' to lay your life on the line for someone else."
"Why? It's not like I haven't done it for Lou a hundred times."
Teaspoon shook his head. "The difference is you knew Samantha only for a coupla days. Yet you were gonna duel for her love. You didn't think how it would affect everyone else if things had come out different, now did you?"
Kid shook his head again. He looked over at Lou and saw the anger in her eyes.
"I can't believe you'd do somethin' so stupid!" Lou hollered. She wanted to reach out and slap him. Of all the times she and Kid had argued over her risking her life, she had been risking it while she worked. He was risking it for his pride.
"Guess I didn't care." What he really wanted to say was that if he couldn't have Lou, his life wasn't worth living.
"Besides, she and Jimmy..."
"Just 'cause you see me talkin' to Jimmy, doesn't mean something's goin' on there either."
"Damn it, Kid! When you gonna start believin' nothin' happened between us when you were together?"
Teaspoon shook his head. "Kid, he's right; you saw what you wanted to see. You know both of them better than that. Even if there is somethin' there, neither one of them would have done somethin' while you and Lou were together."
"As soon you got the chance though..." Kid argued, as he looked first at Jimmy then and Teaspoon. "Jimmy told me in the barn that he and Lou danced on this run together."
Lou looked over at Jimmy, her face growing bright red. "You told him what?"
"Well we did," Jimmy said, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. "Just not in the way I may have suggested."
"I can't believe either one of you! I am not some plaything!" Lou took a deep breath and counted to ten trying to calm down. It didn't work. "Kid, I was miserable after hearing what you said about our relationship. Since we had to wait an extra day for the notes, Jimmy took me out to dinner. Made me feel appreciated as a woman. Afterwards on our way to the fair, there was a man playing music in the streets. Jimmy asked me to dance."
"Then how'd you get those marks on your neck?" Kid said, knowing there was more to the story.
"I'd like to know that too," Teaspoon said, sending Jimmy a questioning look.
"I let my guard down. Lou got caught in the middle of it," Jimmy mumbled, looking down at the ground. "She wound up in a noose meant for me."
Lou shook her head. "It wasn't your fault Jimmy. You didn't know."
"You think that makes it easier? When I saw you hangin' from that tree..."
"Damn it, Jimmy!" Kid exploded. "Ain't no one safe around you. She coulda been killed."
"I know that! But she wasn't; she's safe and it ain't gonna happen again."
"It shouldn't have happened this time," Kid growled.
Jimmy looked Kid straight in the eye, his anger mirroring the anger he saw in his best friend's. "You think I don't know that? Even if I did have feelings for Lou, which I ain't sayin' I do, what kind of life could I offer her? Someone's always gonna be comin' for 'Wild Bill' and they'll get to me any way the can."
Teaspoon knew Jimmy was holding back on his feelings, and for once he was glad. It was obvious to everyone that Jimmy's feelings were very strong for the female rider and were similar to those of his best friend. Both men loved the same woman, and even though they were both too stubborn to admit it, Lou would be the one to suffer most of all.
"Lou, do you have anything else to add?" When she shook her head, Teaspoon continued. "How 'bout the way Kid's been treatin' you?"
She looked over at Kid and sighed. "He's always treated me like a girl. Tried protectin' me, and once we started, well once we got closer, it was even worse."
"Just didn't want nothing to happen to ya is all," Kid said looking at her with a worried look.
"You were tryin' to keep me from doin' my job. I'd already proven I could handle it better than most of you boys could."
"She's got ya there Kid," Jimmy said.
"Ya ain't helpin' Jimmy," Kid replied getting angry.
"Lou, what about now?" Teaspoon asked. The sooner the two faced their feelings, the sooner they could get past this. "How does knowin' Kid was with another girl make you feel?"
"If that's what he wants then fine," she lied. "Just didn't think he'd find someone to replace me so soon."
Kid looked at Lou and saw the pain in her eyes. He knew he'd hurt her by seeing Samantha, but he felt like she had tossed him away.
"I didn't think you'd care," Kid said shaking his head. "I thought you didn't love me anymore."
Teaspoon had had enough. The three of them weren't going to work it out anytime soon. "Enough! If you three can't get along and do your jobs, then we'll have to make some changes 'round here, understood?"
All three riders nodded. They knew he was serious, and the thought of any of them having to leave was incomprehensible.