Whispered at the Wedding
Image Courtesy
of The Writers Ranch
Jimmy just couldn't believe he had done it. He'd just given his heart away along with the bride.
Lou had always been family to him, but the first time he saw her in Emma's house wearing that pink dress, well he knew those weren't the sisterly feelings he should have been having. Besides, Lou and the Kid were in love, any blind person could see it. And some things a man just didn't do. Moving in on someone you considered a brother's girl was one of them. If you were lucky, you'd loose a friend, but more often then not, one of you was looking down the wrong end of a shotgun.
So he held back on his feelings, tried to deny he had any. He had even given advice to The Kid on what to do next. Then as he watched them ride off into the sunset on the way to the Redford Station, knowing that the chase between Lou and The Kid would soon be over, so was his chance with her.
But it wasn't like he hadn't had chances with Lou. She had often come to him seeking advice when The Kid had done her wrong. He would tell her all the things he knew she wanted to hear. It was bad enough giving advice to the person who was meant to be with the woman you wanted so badly, but when she came to him for advice about The Kid, deep down all he really wanted was to beg her to leave The Kid and run away with him.
The night they spent in Willow Springs, the dinner, the fair, dancing... He could see desire burning, like a wide spread prairie fire, in her chocolate brown eyes and the way the moon shone on her chestnut hair... Whenever she wore it down, it was all he could do from running his fingers through it.
But Lou hadn't been herself after dinner, it had been the wine. He couldn't help feeling what he felt and all he could think about was taking her in his arms and loving her in a way The Kid never had or ever would. But he respected and cared for Lou too much. Sure he'd bedded plenty of drunken women before, but that night with Lou, he knew things would be different. He'd be forever different.
And later, when she told him he was a better man than he gave himself credit for, his resolve had snapped. One innocent kiss on the cheek, and he'd started to kiss her hungrily on the porch steps. He would've taken more than she was offering, had they not been interrupted. But when they broke apart and he saw the fire in her eyes had died, he knew that at that moment, her heart would forever belong to The Kid.
Now as he'd watched them over the past few weeks, fighting over the details regarding the wedding, he knew Lou was getting cold feet. Was it because Kid was forcing her give up her identity as one of the boys? That was something he would never have done. Why couldn't Kid love Lou the way she was? Why make her give up the one thing she held dear- being able to prove how strong she was to herself? She'd been through a lot in her years before she joined the Riders; she had the right to prove how tough she was.
Maybe Lou had been getting cold feet because of him? Could they still have a chance? He knew better in his heart, but what his heart and mind wanted, had always been two different things.
He'd arrived late to the wedding. He hadn't wanted to come, thought it was best. He knew Lou would be heartbroken over him not giving her away, but why hadn't she realized how much that one, simple request had hurt him. How could he give her away when she held his heart and didn't know it? How could he watch the one love of his life, marry another? And why had everyone stared at him when Teaspoon had asked if anyone objected?
Now the wedding was over. In later years, he wouldn't be able to recall any of it. But now as he headed out to congratulate the bride and groom, he fought to keep a tear from rolling down his cheek. And now as he went to kiss Lou's cheek, he whispered in her ear, "It should have been me."
This is what I'm talking about... Notice where Jimmy's hand is???