Chris's Chronicles Book 3: Part 2:
The Truth? You Can't Handle the Truth...
One month later- Seacouver
A month after she returned to Seacouver, Chris was alone in her apartment writing in her journal when the buzz hit. Shat sat on the couch too exhausted to move, knowing it was probably Cat who was baby-sitting Little Mary. When the Immortal knocked, she sighed and got up. Cat would have had her key.
"Chris?" Methos said from the other side of the door. Chris slowly made her way across the apartment and flung the door open. "You look like hell." He said with a grin.
"Hello to you, too." She said, as she flopped back onto the couch.
Methos crossed to the kitchen and placed the bag of beer in the fridge and took two of them before heading towards the couch. "Want to talk about it?" he said handing her one the beers.
She twisted the cap off the long neck and took a long sip. "I have not slept in days."
"That's obvious." He said as he paused. "He's back you know. I just left the bar."
"How is he doing?"
"You know how Joe is, never letting his personal feelings interfere. What happened between you two? I asked him if he'd talked to you since he'd been back and he just got close mouthed all of a sudden."
"Humph. Close mouthed was the one thing he was not the last time we spoke. Can you believe he told me he did not think it work out because he did not think Will would approve! Will has been dead for over 50 years. What does Joe think I was doing those six months? Digging up Wills' grave?"
Methos sighed. He knew all to well that Chris and Cat had been traveling to places that Will and Chris had been to together, so she could finally come to terms with Will's death now that Kenny was dead. She ended her trip in Mexico praying beside Will's grave, asking him for guidance. "That's the point, Joe thinks that Will is an obstacle the two of you will never be able to overcome. He doesn't know what you were doing. Mac told me that he thought that you and me were sleeping together."
Chris started laughing. "No he did not. No wonder Joe has been so cranky."
"I don't find it funny. If you remember there was a time..."
Chris stopped laughing and looked at Methos with anger in her eyes. "You have a lot of nerve bringing that up." She hollered at him. "I was weak and vulnerable and you took advantage of me."
Methos looked stunned. Maybe she had been weak and vulnerable, but Methos had never taken advantage of a woman, not even when it was customary. He had learned though that it was better not to argue with her when Chris was in this kind of mood, so he let it go. He watched her as she stood up and walked to the window. "Chris I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."
Chris looked at Methos and smiled. He had always been there for her and she knew what happened the day he had made love to her, was as much her fault as it was his. "How do you do it? Fall in love with mortals, I mean. I saw the way you were with Alexa, and you knew she was going to die sooner than her time."
Methos sat quietly on the couch remembering Alexa. For the six months they had together, they were each other's life. Even now a year later, it hurt him to think about her. He quickly avoided talking about Alexa. "But it's different with Joe. He already knows what you are from the start, and you know how he feels about it."
"Maybe he is right about it not working. Look what happened because of his friendship with Mac. Imagine what would happen if we did get involved."
"But he's not your Watcher. Besides, you're one of them. Go to Joe. Talk to him. Let him hear how you feel from yourself. Not by me through a cell phone."
"I am scared. I do not want to loose him like I did with Alexander and Will. I almost lost him once already and if we do get together, I will eventually loose him. One of us will eventually die."
Methos hugged Chris and the two Immortals got the buzz and heard Cat's voice in the hall. "I'm telling you, she'll be happy to see you." Cat said as she opened the door.
Joe stood there shocked to see Chris and Methos embraced and turned around to leave, slamming the door behind him. Chris let go of Methos and ran after him.
"What's going on between those two?" Cat said as she walked to the fridge took out a coke and plopped down onto the couch.
"Love, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Methos said as he headed out the door.
Chris was chasing Joe down the hallway yelling. "Joe! Joe please wait." Joe stopped at the elevator and pressed the down button. Chris reached him as the doors were almost shut. She put her foot between the doors as they were almost shut and they opened back up when they hit resistance.
"I have nothing to say." Joe said as he pushed the door close button.
"Then listen to me. Joe please." The doors began to shut again, and she slid into the elevator. "What is wrong with you? Seven months ago, you told me you loved me, last month you told me you did not, and now your getting mad because I was hugging Adam. It was nothing. Honest."
"How am I suppose to know that. I've read the files on you, Will, and him. I know what you guys were like. You have every right to be in love with him."
An amused look passed over Chris's face and she tried to hold back her laughter. "You think I love Adam?" Joe nodded. "Joe, I am not going to lie to you. Yes I do love him, but it is a different kind of love than you are thinking of. For awhile, he was the only thing I had left of Will to hold on to. He has always been there for me, and I love him for that."
"Is that the truth?" Joe asked as the elevator hit the ground floor and the doors started to open. "Is that all there is to it? Just a friendship kind of love?"
"The truth? Joe, you can not handle the truth, but yes, that is the only kind of love we will ever have for each other.."
"What do you mean I can't handle the truth? Damn it Chris, I want to know if there's a chance for us."
"Are you saying you love me?" she asked. For some reason she couldn't look Joe in the eye for fear of seeing what she knew was there.
"I don't know what I'm saying. I just know you mean a lot to me, and I don't care what would happen if the Watcher's found out about us."
Chris ran her fingers through her hair and looked up at Joe. "Do you really want to know the truth? All of it?" Joe nodded. "Not tonight, we are both tired and strung out. How about I cook dinner, for us tomorrow?
"I have to work." He said as he finally stepped out of the elevator.
"Joe you own the place. You can take time off anytime you need to. Please." She said following him.
"I'll see what I can do. I'll call you." He said as he walked out of the apartment building.
Chris reluctantly walked back to the elevator and as she was about to step in, Methos stepped out. "Everything ok?" Chris shook her head and started crying. "I have already lost him."
"Come on, let's go back up." Chris nodded and allowed Methos to help her to the apartment.
When they got to the apartment, Cat was on the phone. "I'm sure Anne. No they... Let me call you back." She said as she hung up the phone. "Everything ok?"
Chris shook her head and went into her bedroom closing the door behind her. Methos just stared at Chris's door. "The two of them are never going to realize how much they love each other if they don't stop arguing about it."
"She didn't tell him?"
"She tried to. What were you talking to Anne about? It sounded like it was about them."
"Anne wants to play matchmaker if they don't come to their senses on their own."
Chris walked out of the bedroom in time to hear that last comment. "Tell Anne thanks but no thanks. I do not want you guys interfering. This is just proof that it would never work out between me and Joe. There is no use getting everyone's hopes up just so they can be shattered."
Cat hugged her teacher and smiled. "Chris, all you could talk about while we were traveling was how you felt about Joe. My hopes have been up and there's no way to avoid them. Anne just cares about you. We all do. Have you told him the truth?"
"I told him he could not handle the truth."
"You did what?!" Methos hollered. "Chris how could you?"
"I do not know. How can he handle it when I do not even know what the truth is? God, it was so much easier with Will. We knew from the start we were the ones for each other. With Alexander, I knew him all my life, and I always felt the same thing for him. But with Joe, my emotions keep changing every time I see him or when he opens his mouth."
"Chris," Methos started. "Just come right out and tell him 'Joe, I love you' and things will change. He needs to know how you feel before he can show you he loves you."
"He is never going to think that there is nothing going on between us. Joe thinks Will is an obstacle, but I think you are a bigger one we need to overcome."
"Joe thinks there's something going on between the two of you?" Cat said laughing. "Now that is funny."
Chris shot a look at Cat that shut her up and Methos smiled. "It's too scary how the two of you are so much alike." He responded.
Cat noticed the look on their faces and got the idea. "Now this is a story I haven't heard. Someone want to fill me in?"
"Might as well tell her, she will find out sooner or later." Chris said as she opened another beer and handed one to Methos.
"Why me?"
"You brought it up earlier. Besides, I want to hear how you tell the story." She said as she sat Indian style on the couch and rested her chin in her hands.
"Ok, fine." He said as he sat down in the recliner. He took a sip of his beer and looked at Chris. "It was right after Will had died. Chris had just buried him and was packing up their house in Mexico and I came as soon as I had heard..."
1946- Mexico
Methos stood at the door of Will and Jordan's house relieved to feel at least her buzz. He had heard that Will had been beheaded and there was a rumor that she had been as well. He knew that if she were still alive that this would be the place she would be, and when he went to Uxmal, he saw Will's grave and knew she was probably at the house.
He knocked at the door, but she ignored it. A moment later, he opened the door and walked in to find her packing. "Jordan?" She turned around and saw him standing there with his arms out. She ran to them crying. "It's ok. Everything is going to be fine."
"He is gone and I could have stopped it. Will is dead now because of me. Oh God Methos, what am I going to do?" she said as the tears rolled down her face. She looked up to see he was crying too.
"I don't know." He said honestly. "You have to keep on living. Keep Will's memory alive. Come on, I'll help you finish packing." He said as he let go of her and lifted her chin with his finger. "I'm here for you. It's going to work out."
Chris shook her head "We kept arguing the past few days. I never told him I was sorry. I never got the chance to tell him one last time that I loved him."
"He knew." Methos said as he looked down at her and could see the pain in her eyes. He was hurting too. Will was one of the best students he had ever had. "It's going to be ok. I'll help you get through this."
The next day the left Mexico at Methos's advice. He stayed with her for several months and everywhere they went, she thought she had seen Kenny. It was tearing her up inside and every moment she wasn't chasing after him, she was chasing after Will's *ghost* swearing that it was Will she felt.
One night he came home to find Jordan looking out the window crying. "What is it?" he asked going to the window where she was.
"I saw a Quickening and it reminded me of Will. I can not handle it anymore. I have to get out. Every bit of the Game reminds me to much of Will."
Methos didn't know what to say so he just held her tightly until the crying stopped. When she was finished she looked up at him and tried to smile. "I am sorry."
"What for? You have every right to be upset." He said as he wiped the final tear from her face.
"The truth?" he nodded. "Neither of us can handle the truth of why I am sorry, but thank you. You have done so much for me." She said as she kissed him on the cheek.
"Only because I know how much you loved Will."
Jordan's smile finally came. She increased the pressure of the embrace and kissed him again on the cheek. Slowly she made her way to his lips.
Methos pulled away from Jordan and looked at her amazed. The pain in her eyes were temporarily replaced by lust and need. As she pulled him back towards her, he knew that as much as he didn't want to make love to her, in the state of mind she was in, it was the one thing she needed.
When he woke up the next morning, she was gone. She had packed what little belongings she had brought with her and left with a note saying, "The truth is, I will always remember what you did for me. - Jordan Christine Renwyck-Vincente."
"And we did not see each other until Australia in the mid seventies." Jordan said.
"I can't believe you told Joe the same thing as you told me about the truth. I guess you're going to blow him off too now, right?"
"I did not blow you off, Methos. I was scared and confused and alone." She said slightly raising her voice higher than she wanted to. "Look, that is in the past now, and we are still friends. Please let us not argue."
"Don't worry about arguing in front of me, I don't mind. Hell, after all Duncan and Anne were fighting from the time they left this afternoon until the time they came home." Cat said.
Chris and Methos laughed and realized they were both being foolish about the whole thing. "Look," Methos started. "I'll talk to Joe. Maybe I can talk some sense into him."
"Thank you, but I doubt it will be worth it. Once Joe has his mind set on something he is not easily ready to forget it. This is something the two of us have to work out for ourselves."
"Let me know?" Methos said as he stood up to leave. Chris followed him to the door and hugged him.
"I will. And Methos, thank you. Thank you for everything."
"Anytime." He kissed her cheek and left. Chris turned around and sat back down on the couch.
"So, is there anything else I should know about you that I don't?" Cat said sitting beside her.
Chris looked at her student and realized that what Methos had said earlier about the two of them being so alike was true. "Is there anything else you want to know?"
"Well, actually there is. Which one is better in bed? Duncan or Methos?"
Chris just laughed and took the last sip of her beer and smiled. "I will let you know after I can compare them to Joe." She said as a wide grin spread across her face.