Chris's Chronicles Book 3: Part 1:
Fighting Emotions, Running Scared...
1997- Paris

Joe Dawson stood looking over the railing on Duncan MacLeod's barge and sighed. He had been through so much in the past few months, and thoughts of Chris Renwyck weren't much help. While he was in the hospital, recovering from the shooting that nearly killed him, Chris had stayed by his side and he felt a sort of pleasure.

There was one day in particular that kept going through Joe's mind. Ever since Chris had become a Watcher they had been good friends, but that day something happened that haunted him and sent Chris off running. Now, almost six months later there was no word from her or her student Cat. The two had been known to run off together for short periods of time, but he didn't know where they were after they had met up with Adam in Mexico a month ago.

*Chris and Adam* he thought to himself. That thought alone worried him more than Chris's whereabouts. Methos had been Chris's husbands mentor and had been there for her after Will had died. The two of them had always been close, but Joe assumed that there was more to the relationship than either was leading on.

Joe and Chris had been friends for over 15 years. Their paths often crossed, but it wasn't until a year ago that he found out the Immortal she was tracking was herself, who was over 300 years old. There was no doubt in Joe's mind that Methos had some influence in that area.

Joe started to walk back in the barge as his cellular phone rang. "Dawson." He answered to a large amount of static.

"Joe? It's on our way . Chris says too..." and then the phone went dead. Joe cursed at his cell phone and hit *69. To his luck, there was no answer on the other line. He walked back into the barge thinking about that one day when he woke up in the hospital...

Six months earlier

"Joe?" Chris said as her friend and fellow Watcher started to waken. "Welcome back from the dead."

Joe looked confused and dazed for a moment and mistook the ringing in his head for the buzz. "You mean..." he said weakly.

Chris let out a playful laugh and smiled. "No, you are not one of us, but you had us all scared for a while. How are you feeling?"

Joe looked around the hospital room and the events of the shooting came back to him as they often did when he first woke up. "Like hell." He said trying to smile. "Mac around?"

"I sent him down to the cafeteria to grab a bite to eat. I do not think he has eaten since you have been here. I am glad you are ok, we were worried that we were going to loose you there for awhile."

"Never *old* friend." He said as he reached for her hand. Joe was still out of it and heavily drugged but the next thing out of his mouth shocked them both. "Chris, I really care for you, and I think that I love you." He said as he smiled and then fell asleep. Chris sat there dumbfounded. The next time Joe woke up, Chris was gone and Mac was sitting next to him.

Joe was brought back to reality by Duncan sitting next to him on the couch. "Thinking about Chris?" he asked recognizing the look on Joe's face that he often got. Joe nodded. "Heard anything?"

"I got a phone call a few minutes ago and it sounded like Adam, but there was a lot of static and I couldn't make out anything."

"Did he say anything about when they'll be home?"

Joe shook his head. "I couldn't tell. But when she gets home, I'm going to act as if I never said anything, that I never told her how I felt, that I..." Joe stopped when he saw the look on Duncan's face. "What?"

"Nothing." Duncan said. He knew Joe was tearing himself apart over this, but he also knew Joe had to get it out in the open to deal with it.

"Besides, after this whole trial mess, there's no way I can get involved with another Immortal. Who knows, she and Adam are probably in bed with each other right now."

"Enough!" the Highlander yelled. "How do you expect to recover physically if you keep beating yourself mentally. Besides, you know Adam better than that. He knows how you feel about her."

"I know." Joe said as he opened a beer that was sitting on the table. "I know both of them better than that. Hell Mac, what am I thinking?"

Duncan just stared at Joe blankly. It was a rhetorical question and they both knew that. "Go get some rest, things will look better in the morning." Joe nodded and stood up and walked out of the barge.

The Next Day

Joe was awaken from his sleep by a constant knock at his hotel room door. He turned over to see the clock reading after 2 and he sat up. He slowly limped his way to the door, avoiding the empty beer bottles and discarded pizza boxes from the night before. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Chris standing there. *Shit!* he thought to himself. *That's exactly what I look like.*

Chris stood in the doorway smiling. She was wearing a white crop top and tight black jeans. Her purple trenchcoat was opened just enough to reveal the hilt of her saber. Her dark auburn hair was pulled back into a Mayan braid and the pair of sunglasses Joe had lent her a few weeks before the shooting, rested on top of her head. "Hey Joe." She said as she flashed him a smile that melted him.

Joe was a grown man, and here he was acting childish over someone almost ten times older than he was. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her dressed like she was now. She usually wore conservative clothes or her workout clothes. Rarely had she gone without wearing makeup, but her skin was so tan, Joe couldn't find even a trace of lipstick. "Hi." He said in reply.

"Are you going to invite me in, or just stand there waiting for a fly to land in your mouth?" she said as she started to laugh the laugh he had heard so many times in his mind since that day in the hospital.

"Sorry." He said inviting her in. "You look wonderful."

"You do too. How are you feeling." She walked into the room and hugged him. Joe was usually neat, but his room was a mess and it looked like he had thrown a party.

"Better. Here," he said clearing some space of the extra bed. "Have a seat. Where's Cat?"

"You know how she is about Paris, so she flew straight on to Seacouver. School starts back soon and she wanted to finish her senior year with friends. She is staying at Anne and Duncan's until I get back." She answered. There was an uncomfortable silence that fell between them.

"Look I..." They both said after a few minutes. Chris smiled and got up to sit next to Joe. She ran her hand through her hair and then took his and placed it in her lap. "I have been doing a lot of thinking in the past few months, and I..."

"I have too." He interrupted. "That day in the hospital, the things I said.... I..."

Chris listened as Joe told her that he wasn't himself that day and he didn't really mean what he said. She knew that what he was saying and what he meant were two completely different things, but she nodded at what he was saying. "You are right Joe, things would not work out between us. We are just too different to even think of such things." She was lying. They both were and the other one knew it.

"Exactly. I mean we've been friends for so long, why should we mess it up by getting involved with each other. Eventually, we'll just wind up hurting each other."

Chris nodded and tried to smile. "Well, I better get going. I just wanted to stop by and let you know I was back, but flying home to Seacouver tomorrow. I also wanted to see that you were ok." She said as she stood up and allowed Joe to walk her to the door.

"I'll be heading back soon too." He said.

Once again, an uncomfortable silence fell between them. Chris finally opened the door and started to walk out. "Bye Joe, take care."

"You too." He said as he shut the door behind her and stood there. Outside the room, Chris leaned against the doorway as a tear rolled down her cheek. After a few minutes, she turned to leave.

Inside the room, Joe opened the door and looked out. "Chris?" but she was already gone.