Chris's Chronicles Book 2: Part 5:
Revenge and Recklessness...
1957: Paris
Eleven years had gone by since Will had been killed, and Jordan spent every waking moment of it searching for Kenny. She had traveled all over the world looking for him, wanting her revenge. Methos had been there for her through it all, for he too felt a great loss. It was always hard for Methos to loose a student, but Will had been special to him. He had become so close to Will and Jordan, and he felt her pain. He knew as soon as it happened and he rushed to her side to help her through it. Now eleven years later, he was gone and she was on her own in Paris.
Jordan had dealt with her pain by planning the revenge. In doing this, she became reckless. It was something she didn't like and knew Will wouldn't have either. She was drinking, sleeping with men she didn't know, and other things that were so unlike her. It was her way to escape the pain and hurt she felt when she woke up alone in the middle of the night, after having a nightmare, and realizing she was alone. She would often wait for the tears to come, but they had stopped many years ago.
"Jordan?" Amanda asked from the doorway of her flat in Paris. Amanda had found Jordan a few days ago at a hostel with a man whose name she did not know. She had been at Amanda's ever since silently moping. Now she was staring out the window watching the rain as she had for the past several hours. She was in no mood to talk and she sighed deeply. "Are you ok? You've been staring out that window in that same position for over an hour." Jordan shifted her legs so that they were now under her and leaned her head against the window pain. Amanda crossed to her former student and placed her hand on her shoulder. "Want to talk about it?"
Jordan nodded but remained silent. A few minutes later, Amanda started to leave when she heard Jordan barely whisper "I miss him."
Amanda hugged her student. "I know you do, how couldn't you? You were with him for over two centuries. I'd miss Duncan if anything ever happened o him."
"I should have killed that bastard when I had the chance. I had him on his knees and I fell for that scared kid look. He was no kid! And because of my stupidity, Will is dead and I am alone. And look what I have turned into. Revenge and Recklessness are not my style, but I can not help it. That bastard has turned me into a monster!" Jordan sighed after so much yelling and for the first time in ten years, the tears that had not come, finally came. "I do not know what to do anymore." She said as Amanda held her tightly. "Will would be mad if he saw what I had become. I am mad at me for what I have become."
Amanda knew Jordan was right. Of all the people Amanda knew, Jordan was the least likely of them to be driven mad by the thought of revenge. "What do you want to do?"
"Escape from the Game by any means possible. If I loose my head, all the better. I just need to get my mind off things until I am ready."
Amanda nodded. At times she had felt the same way. "I have an idea. I know someone who may be able to help you."
"Who?"
"Darius. He's here in Paris somewhere."
"No!" Jordan said as more tears fell. "I want to get away from anything that reminds me of Will. Darius..." she grew silent and looked out the window again, drawing herself back into her own little world.
"It's Holy Ground. You can stay there for as long as you need to, and you'll be safe."
"Until that kid is dead, I will never feel safe."
"Think about it. It will give you time to think through all of your emotions and work through them."
Two weeks later, Jordan relented and joined a convent with the help of Darius.
"Brother Darius?" Jordan said as she entered the monastery where Darius was a monk. She had spent the past fifteen years on Holy Ground and the past ten of those as a nun. Now she was ready to leave and face the world again.
"Yes my child?" he said not recognizing Jordan in her habit. "Jordan? Forgive me, I did not recognize you. How are you?" he said giving her a hug.
"I am fine. Much better than the last time we spoke." She said with a smile. Amanda had brought Jordan to Darius what seemed like a lifetime ago.
"That is good to hear. Holy Ground is a refuge we must all seek at one point. Some come for sanctuary from the Game, while others to find an understanding of it."
"And I have found both at Saint Teressa's, but I am ready to leave. My time of mourning is over and I need to deal with my feelings of being in the Game again."
"Are you sure? William's death was quite painful and traumatic for you. Are you sure you are ready for that kind of healing?"
"If I do not leave now, I may not ever. I am not like you in the fact I can only find forgiveness by seeking refuge forever." A flash of pain crossed Darius's face. "Forgive me, Brother Darius, that did not come out the way I meant for it to. I only meant..."
He nodded and smiled. "I know what you meant. I will talk to your Mother Superior about this at once."
"Thank you. I will never forget the kindness you have shown me in my time of need. You have always been special to Will and myself and I will not forget it."
Darius placed his hand upon Jordans, "You and Will were special to me as well. Will is greatly missed by those who knew him, and if there is anything you ever need, do not fear, come to me."
"Thank you Darius." She said as she softly kissed his cheek. "Thank you."